Sticks and Stones….
I just want to take this time to thank everyone for the comments yesterday. Some of you didn’t agree with what I said, but what’s important is that it may have sparked a conversation. I am going to keep giving it to you raw and uncut so continue to send comments and feedback. We will all get it right one day; until then though…enjoy.
As a child, I remember hanging out with my friends and we start playing the dozens. Sometimes we could take it too far and someone would say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Now, as a child I always thought that was cute, but as an adult I have realized how untrue that saying is.
My life has been filled with pain and I will take responsibility for a lot of it. I have been abused, shot at, gotten into a lot of fights (thanks Ceez), stabbed (my fault) and hit by a car going about 20 miles an hour. I have truly experienced pain and physical hurt in my life, but none of that compares to mental hurt. So many times in relationships, anger makes us say some things that will cut our partners to the core. Me personally, I am a very sensitive person with a hard exterior. There used to be a commercial when I was growing up that said, “Words hit harder than a fist” and I have always taken that to heart. Truthfully Speaking, most women don’t realize the affect that their words have on their men. Words are like the internet; once they are out there, they are out there forever. There is no taking them back. A man remembers every negative thing that you have said to him. It’s not that he remembers because he wants to use it against you; it just sticks to him like glue. When you were arguing and you told him how he wasn’t a real man and couldn’t satisfy you, he remembers that and now you wonder why he doesn’t touch you the same. When you were upset and told him that you were going to go out and find someone that appreciates you, he remembers that and that’s why is always suspicious. When you were really pissed and you told him that’s why you had an abortion because he didn’t deserve to be a father, he remembers that and you wonder why he has a lot of resentment towards you. Sure, all of that may have been lies that you told because you were angry, but to him, it is all Truth. We as men probably have done a lot of things to hurt women so I understand the mentality behind it; that still doesn’t mean that it’s right.
I don’t argue and if your man is anything like me it probably pisses you off to the utmost pisstivity. Most men realized a couple of things a long time ago. One, you will never win an argument with a woman. Two, no matter what she says to you, if you come back at her it only makes things worse. Have you ever wondered why your man stares at you with that blank look on his face when you are arguing? It’s because he is trying to tune you out so he doesn’t hear the low blow that is sure to come and he is trying to calm his nerves so that he doesn’t say something that he will regret. Been there and done it. The Truth is, the words you speak dictate what you are really feeling so there is no apology that you can offer up and personally I wouldn’t want to hear it anyway. I love how a woman curses a man up and down, calls him everything except what his mother named him, denigrates him and then gets mad and offended when he has had enough and calls her out of her name. That is the funniest thing in the world to me. The Truth is this though, the distance that you have to deal with, the animosity that you feel coming from him, the heat that you feel emanating from that couch may have something to do with something that has come out of your mouth. The sad part is that it’s probably not even your fault and we realize it. We are just more able to accept that the genetic propensity that you have to act that way is engrained in you. Too bad you can’t accept the same things about us. That’s MY Truth and everything that you say that I am, I probably am but you just don’t have to say it day after day after day. Remember, Love God, Love You and Love people.
